Turning the other side...no action tonight

9:59:00 AM

I turned over...can you see the earphones, just in case you think I might

I am on a series-athon, PPL,GG and 90210 name it and I am on it,yep am living 18 all over again hey thats my age till I die and am sticking to that story. Back to the series, season 3 of 90210 sees Naomi get raped by her teacher and lives with the pain and anguish of not having anyone to tell. I cried all through that ep because I related with her on all levels, then when I saw the same teacher spike Silver's tea, I just couldnt hold it anymore. The girls do some digging and scheming and when they eventually press charges, have evidence that he did it elsewhere,get a warrant for his arrest, the police find he had moved. The look on Naomi's face is priceless, you can read the pain, the sorrow, the anguish. I heard her face tell me, he has gone somewhere new to do it anew, I bled with her and all the rape victims, I bled with her for all the cases not necessarily rape but the cases against humans that go unanswered, unquestioned, unnoticed yet people suffer, people bleed, people stop being people.

Bad Habit
Yesterday I had lunch with a very special lady, one I knew way back in high school and we were bringing ourselves up to date with the going-ons in our lives, career-wise and otherwise. The subject of boys took centre stage and we had loads and loads to talk about, one thing that came out clear is that we both learnt from past relationships and look for bigger, better than where we were. That what boy A took as through we would not let boy B even entertain the thought of. On my trip home, I got thinking, why then do people repeat mistakes? Are they dumb? Wasn't the first cut deep enough? But before I could wallow in the thought of being brighter than thou, I reflected on me, on some boys I knew were way too bad for me or some pals who I hang out with and before I knew it we were elsewhere doing some things I will spare you, but why do we always go back? Maxwell calls them bad habits, those things we just accept even though they are bad for us. I have to admit we need that bad to work extra hard to create good otherwise we will relax. But there is bad we just cant entertain otherwise we will have retrogression as the only name we answer to.

Late at night as I was watching news, Parliament pass the anti-hague motion, this is the same one that could not come up with a local tribunal to prevent the ICC involvement. I am talking about the Parliament that had one of its members suggest that 500million Kenyans contribute Ksh 100 to send the mentioned six to The Hague yet they cannot do anything for the people still displaced to have them sit there and make those suggestions, now that they have passed the anti-hague motion, the beloved President cancels Christmas Party to feed IDPs, I do not know if A led to B or if A and B just happened to meet in the same room but if we think 'clearingk the manes of those six people who may or may not have caused the PEV is more important than all the people whose lives have been greatly affected for them to warm those seats, am turning the other side and keeping my legs crossed, no action tonight.

Reality TV, Kenyan style
They also named six other people involved in the drug menace in Kenya, I got my eyes on that series because these parliament proceedings got the best reality show awards from all angles, E! should recognize, the Kardashians have nothing on this, nothing at all, no wonder they ask for so much money. More drama as the Ouko murder report was thrown out. I am sitting here thinking there was tax payers money was used to have Ocampo do his three day(i think) thing in a meeting at Crowne Plaza, tax payers money was used to have a committee do the Ouko Report seriously they just hit a dead end and decided lets table this thing and move on with life. I have Naomi's face all over my body, we came this far, compiled all this evidence, went through PEV, have IDPs, got a new constitution then when the police get their, they get he moved, he is out there, in a new state, getting a new girl, spiking her tea, then raping her.

Why I turn?
I turn because I bleed and I bleed mostly because I saw the effect of PEV when I went to Nyandarua and saw families with Mental Illnesses caused by the cast of this reality show and you come and say you will throw us a Christmas Party. I have depression, I have Schichzophrenia, I have to buy medicine to stay 'sane' and all you can do is buy me soda and pilau, tell me you will form a local tribunal which you werent able to form in the first place and smile as you tell me that is better than when you asked me to contribute Ksh 100 with the see I care face.

I bleed because I worked with photo-activist Boniface Mwangi last year when he launched Picha Mtaani and I saw those photos. Body parts on the ground, police brutality, houses burning, stones above heads.

I bleed because when remember days of yesterday when I knew there things I could do and my mum would not beat me because I was a little older to be beaten and so I would tell my kid bro ukienda kunisema, salimia mum. That's what am seeing now, I feel like someone led me on only to stand up at the alter. What am I to do with this dress, and all the invites sent, the food, the flowers? It is late in the night so I turn and sleep but when morning comes hope you will have enjoyed my heat for it was the last heat you will ever get, at least from me.
I am dreaming of Mungiki, of Sungusungu, of Sabaot land defense force and many others of their like. I am dreaming of Delamere and the murderers of Ouko and all the rest, this is me having nightmare and when I turn you are by side. I have a right to sleep on this bed, I am Kenyan and I wont be running away to the land claimed to have milk and honey. If you sip of it why cant I? What makes you special?

As me and my girl concluded yesterday, now what you stand for and let the man know thats that period. I know a man good on promises, I knew one when I was seventeen and he said he would stick by me until his friend raped me and I was all by myself. This is personal, very personal. So Mr. New Guy, I have heard it all before and because it is personal, you need to make good your promises or am out the door. As we accept and entertain and give ratings to the new reality show, know your stand and let this man know your stand because someone will be crying and it aint Mr.Impunity.

As I said on twitter yesterday, if you are Kenyan you are the only tag the countries got, keep at your grind, play harder and know all else is noise and we said it during debate, nawaomba mje kwenye mwendo wa aste aste bila kusitasita katika upande huu(someone correct me) turn if you bleed, turn because it is not right, turn because in less than 24 months he ought to prove he is worth it. Benefit of doubt is something you never give a man you caught, not pants down, but on top screaming his mamas name, these people work up the whole neighbourhood and if we are still spreading for them, we are tired.


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  1. To your question about mistakes on "Bad Habits" - Its b'coz we are very, very, very slow learners of history. No matter how costly the lesson was!