Just had tea with Joyce Meyer and Fantasia Barrino...soul sistas

2:28:00 PM

I love my head wraps...how i miss them

I am still learning the whole one step at a time thing and this week was more about me getting in touch with me and my beloved. The emails are still pouring in and you will be surprised how many people walk these streets, are your bosses, know about fashion yet they are empty and are too chicken to stop it all and think that post that I almost put down was a reason to move forward, to try change them first before they jump...all Glory and honor belong to God.

I love teaching

I have already been invited to give talks here and there and well another thing I am learning is to say NO!!! God rested on the 7th day and wolves take time to lick and heal their wounds so I have shelved the offers till next year. These few days are for me to reconcile with me, the proper way.As part of my task at a time thingie, my task this week was to talk to the people around me, so on Monday an aunt of mine took me to Java for evening tea which turned out to me having a Quesadilla (someone take me to Java already, I am hungry just thinking about it)  and we laughed ourselves silly, the best point is when she told me next time I want to try it again I should call her and we can both eliminate the methods tried and failed, thought of but have never been experimented so as to do a clean job(if you have been there, you get the joke...if not, laugh with the live audience). 

I love doing logistics and planning and counter-planning

She asked me what I like, (hence the pix with the captions of stuff I love or loved doing) that was a hard question, I mean i love eating thats what i say in all interviews and the reporters out to have a story about Sitawa move on, but what do i love doing...it is true i love eating but i need to work on that, and thats what i am doing now and i am not going to make it a project with timelines and a graph like i do with all my other projects, i will just find out...I am still finding out stuff, getting my footing in this thing called having fun and it is HARD!!!I need one of those having fun for dummies books...she told me she loves her jeans, she loves to get into her car and just drive, she goes for some one man-guitar country music thing in Karen, she is in her 40s and I felt like I was her mother.I think if you dropped me in a club right now, I would call my dad and tell him I am lost and do not know how to get home(but ask around, i was dancer queeen for life haha)

I miss performing and rehearsing
I bet you are all tired of this best friend thing, get used to it because this guy is like my ying for real and he has his thing and he took me to it and it was amazing, Monday Delight cant wait for the next one. To think he had a major set back on Monday but he still had fun on his to do list, he still checks in on me to see if i jumped whereas every setback is a reason for me to bury myself in projects, I start something new instead of going out and shaking it all off...and I was more stressed about his set back than he actually was, he avoided me...I am in ICU stage of this and Lord knows I needed this  experience(cant think of another word for it) BIG TIME and this boy, well in the next lifetime, i will put a ring on him (:

I was listening to Joyce Meyer earlier in the week and she was talking about taking care of yourself, the days when she was still getting her footing and she said that she had days when she had no idea what fun was all about and her hubby Dave would say he is going for golf and she would get angry and he would go, have his fun and come back and he was ok but she had issues, he went for golf but it was her problem, she was not taking care of herself and I love what she said, you should not give anyone the job of taking care of you...only you can take care of you...AMEN!!! Come to think about it how can I give love if I have not a clue what love is? You cannot give that which you have not...AMEN!!! (I can start a church here and now)

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Another woman I relate to is Fantasia, she tried to commit suicide last year and like many was unsuccessful DANG!!! something we all have in common, me , Fantasia, those who wrote in and those who wake up in the AM is that when we wake up we think SERIOUSLY!!! I AM STILL HERE LIKE I HAD IT ALL PLANNED. We almost tell God, ok I did, YOU GUY, YOU GOT JOKES!!! And since we are here, we need to work with that and work with it the best way possible, she went out and did the Back to me album, I am working on me and that is what i am encouraging all those who wrote in, what is that in your hand? I know that has been my motto for a while, well it is about time I upgraded it to, what are you doing with what you have in your hand first of all, for you, selfishness seems like an ok thing after all. Something else she says which i mentioned in my post, you do not just do it...there are signs and triggers but there is that one thing(I think in Physics class the elasticity break point is what is was called),that thing that can be as simple as not finding a shilling to make a hundred to buy some junk. Most people believed hers was because of a man, she says she has been in worse relationships. Y'all get what I was on to on the thin line post?

If you haven't watched this you need to
Another thing I identified with Fantasia is she had let her life out through her autobio, Life is not a fairytale and you would expect that she had found healing, but I am learning healing is not only in sharing but doing something to fill that void after sharing, it is smoking tobaccoless (dummy) cigarettes when on the quiting program, it is those water injections you get when you are addicted to injections, because you remove something heavy from within you need to replace it and most of us(read Sitawa) think it is work and so we slave but it is not. We are more afraid of going back to that 'hole' that we do not see oncoming traffic because we are caught up trying like in my case, not to get raped again so anyone who shows signs of wanting to get serious is someone to flee from...for others whose parents were high flying and did the grace to grass thing, slave not to get to the grass but are at the same time afraid of the grace lest like their parents they fall.

I think our greatest success is not the fact that something came our way and we talked about it, it is that we talked, got into the system fell in front of the system and learnt it is not about the system, it is about us, we are greater than the system. Joyce Meyer was abused as a child and if you are a follower of her talks you know she constantly talks about it but she had years of bitterness, I am not sure if she tried suicide but she did work on her, she forgot the system...look at her now...she is making paper (Ok I had to)
Best wake up call ever...little things
Today morning my one year old cuz who is going to be a diva, the way that kid poses for pix, only God know...got me out of bed after jumping all over the covers, it felt so good to talk gibberish and kiss and take pix in our PJs and let her play with my phone, tweet her imaginary tweeps and it reminded me of India Arie's little things...so this weekend I am all about little things.
My one year cuz tweeting her tweeps
 I am proud of all the little things I have been able to do this week, yes i had a panic attack and i kinda overworked but I am getting there, learning from the little things because they make the bigger picture...on that note,me and my jeans are off to Strathmore to see competitors of Mr & Ms Strathmore happening this coming weekend at Bomas, keep it on the Runway254 site for tit bits.

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