I sniff a little more the stuff to make my head a little more clear

7:51:00 AM

"I sniff a little more the stuff to make my head a little more clear...." Well that is the story of my life. If you read my story on The Standard, you know I get the whole mood shift thing. Well my energies were really low for the last two days and I was trying really hard to hold on given I am in the middle of a campaign, I have a poetry night this Sat (#sitawaignited), I finally got around to planning a runway254 event, I am teaching in church and tutoring form 2 maths and in all these, people rely on me, I am a team player, a leader and I was thinking if I fall now, I will fail them all. That's when I felt I needed a puff.It is usually a hard time, if left out of control it can spin to really bad places.There is an interrelation between mental health, HIV/AIDs and drug and substance abuse, and I will take you through it in a bit.

Image from madebysusy.blogspot.com

I will want one puff and well if you have been there, like a smokie, one is never enough so I will do two and given it is cold, a third one to warm me up. Then I will want to have a polite drink in the house just to fight the depression, to have a mild high, I mean I am in the house, no risky behaviour will happen in there but there is email, FB, DM, BBM and before I know it a car will be pulling up. I kid you not, I am most philosophical and prophetic when my energies shift so I will analyse the Mombasa group, Charles Taylor's ruling, Martha Karua and the IEBC dude, I will analyse who Mudavadi and Wamalwa and Ruto and Uhuru will work with, I will predict Saitoti's, Ole Kiyapi's and Tuju's fairy tales complete with endings,throw in KQ rights issue and my Actuarial antenea will fly into the whole stock exchange and so the drinks will keep coming and it will be too late to go home so we will go to his place and maybe he will 'trust me' and I will 'trust him' so we will need no trust and tomorrow, well tomorrow I will wake up feeling so guilty and I will hate myself, I will hate the thing I have made God's temple and I think I do not deserve to live, so I will attempt suicide and I succeed...well I haven't lived that part but if I fail, I will look for someone or something that will make me 'whole' so I will want another puff and puff harder than the big bad wolf out to get the three little pigs which doesn't do my soul any good and because I will be too preoccupied maintaining a high, I wll have no income stream meaning I will look for favors or steal stuff from the house and sell at throw away prices and it becomes a whole vicious cycle.

After my story aired on National Newspaper, my inbox was full of similar stories, women who have three, four kids and do not live with any of them because they cannot cope, men who are drunkards because they do not 'deserve to be called men'. It goes on and on and we all have to be open eyed about the signs and symptoms. 

From http://www.clivir.com
Holla at me on sitawa@sitawa.com, we need to beat this together. Mental illnesses do not choose, they come to mother and father, to son and daughter, to the bachelored and the experienced, to the moneyed and the penniless...we all need to stand together as one to help make it better. It is a daily struggle trying to maintain a personality then the nuts and bolts that hold it are not in place. I have the bestest BFF in the world. This boy smells me tripping from a mile and he starts putting guard posts on my path. He knows what I do when I crave a high and he cautions, he reminds me of the negatives. Many people either do not have a BFF like mine or have people around them that do not understand what is happening.

I have heard cases of fathers who beat their daughters senseless (University daughters) because of the amount of weed they are taking. Well beating them only re-inforces the need for a high to escape. Parents,teachers and society at large need to understand the cycle;
a) there are people with mental illnesses who seek highs and in return get hoked to drugs and get engaged in risky sexual behaviour,
b) there are people who for esteem issues or others become dependent on drugs which can damage their mentals and while at it make risky sexual behavior an enticing pre-occupation.
c) there are people with HIV/AIDS who because of stigma, lack of counselling and non-acceptance of their health status look for a high to cope and get addicted or get into depression just thinking about it.

I believe joint efforts among groups dealing with mental health, HIV/AIDs and Drug & Substance Abuse will go a long way in helping the world. As I work on that collaborative effort, go on and help some skip that puff by understanding them and what they are going through and creating an enabling environment for them to strive...Be someone's hero today, xoxo

PS: If you have any questions, get a hold of me on twitter @SitawaWafula or email me sitawa@sitawa.com, if you would like to book me to talk at your school, youth group or parent/teacher meeting use the same email address...lets be heroes, the world needs a little more of us.

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  1. Actually I am joining the race, let us war against the discrimination of mentally ill individuals