The Story of me…

2:12:00 PM

Take me as I am

I would like to share a story,
I would like to share the story of me,

The story of me is not an inspiring one,
Nor is it attempting to be,
The story of me will not be shared,
For it is sad and depressing,
It is a desperate call for attention,
The story of me is not one mothers will use as an example to their daughters,
But one that will attempt to describe to my mother why I am not like other daughters.
The story of me is not a victorious one for every waking day I fail,
The story of me is self-pity to some extent,
It is a question to God of why I am still on earth.
It is my disregard to the system, rules and regulations,
It is me defying nature and its rules.

The story of me is about the nights I cry myself to sleep,
The story of me is about the confusion that goes on in my head,
I would like to share about the days I believed in virginity,
About my first sexual encounter,
About the violence against my body,
About the scars I still carry,
The story of me in about my lost faith in the family institution,
The story of me is in my head,
It is my insecurities,
About my mental illness
About the stigma and neglect,
About the hotness and coldness of my actions,

The story of me is about secrets I hold,
About an unstable relationship with God,
About days I have my tail between my legs,
About drugs I have taken but still woke up the next day,
About being lost and never finding my way,
About dreams I do not follow,
About my drinking and sex addictions,
About my relationships with those in high places,
About the men in my life,
About the emotional roller-coaster we are on,
About the fruits of our union.
About the fear of almost turning thirty with nothing to my name,

This is the story of me
It is about death that won’t come,
About realizing that until it does I need to be busy
It is about looking for beauty in the ashes,
About finding a way, my way,
The story of me is about being a coffee bean,
About changing the color of the water and not letting it change me,
It is about the healing power of sharing,
The story of me is about     

I would like to share a story,
I would like to share the story of me,

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  1. love it, scared by it, thanks for sharing it Sitawa

  2. A story well shared
    A story of looking forward as if there was never a past
    Forgetting of the past we dread and leaving again a dream we once dream t

  3. Thanks Sitawa for sharing this lovely poem - I can relate with some parts - remember that a candle loses nothing by lighting another - and every dream that we lose presents an opportunity to dream again....for it is in finding the end that a new beginning comes up - David in the bible was Plan B for King of Israel - Saul was Plan A. Plan B was even better than Plan A - despite it being the brave, find your voice and dream once more of what is to come....bearing in mind the past but focussing on the here and now and tomorrow :-)

    I love the honesty in your poem - its balanced to reality - the things people are afraid to admit or talk about ...well captured! Thanks Sitawa!