Give me tears this Christmas

6:50:00 PM

Give me tears this Christmas
To celebrate his life and all the good tidings he brought.
Give me tears this Christmas
Let little hot drops flow freely down my cheeks to the earth that will be his home till we meet.
Give me tears this Christmas
That my eye makeup will trail just as we all the lessons he taught.
Give me tears this Christmas
Let them be accompanied by a headache from memories of the love he gave.
Give me tears this Christmas
Then allow me to beg for a distraction because he was larger than life
Give me tears this Christmas
Allow me to say see you later to my beloved.
Give me tears this Christmas.

After a year long battle with Cancer, one of my uncles who practically lived with us when I was small died in India while undergoing treatment. It has taken me 3 days to come to terms with it. This evening I spent 3 hours crying and it was such a relief, thank you Lord for the tears. I had written this piece earlier in the day because I was so worried that I wasn't worried, I couldn't understand why I didn't wasn't with it or why I didn't want to go be with my cousins just yet.
I talked to a psychologist pal on Day 1 and she said this to me;

There are three outcome patterns to grieve. Chronic grief, absence of grief and common grief. Yours is the second one and most common. It is okay, there is nothing wrong with you and you need to do nothing and most of all don't worry.

Day 2 and 3 have been torture for me and despite her advice I worried. But this evening, as I cried, I felt so much as peace and I felt my uncle's warmth all around me. Now I am looking forward to seeing my cousins tomorrow.
How do y'all deal with grief? Which of the 3 mentioned outcomes have y'all experienced?

PS: Here is the follow up piece - See you Later

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