Goodbye, my love, personal mission statement

12:14:00 PM

At SCAD Art beat High School event this weekend where I have been a Spoken Word judge for the last 3 years
On my right is Ngaira Spoken Word winner last year who I am currently mentoring
 and the lady is Faith, this year's winner and my newest baby


Once you articulate your mission statement and develop your brand, don't waver.
Commit to it and don't settle for a standard that is less.
If you are truly going to know peace and fulfillment, you must honor your brand.
~ TD Jakes; Reposition Yourself

Good morning beautiful people,
Pray you had an amaaaaazing weekend. I am still struggling with my bipolar highs and lows but life is good despite the struggles which I am documenting and will share in the coming weeks. A lot of interesting things have happened which have inspired this post and when my friends from Ghana shared photos from my visit and speaking engagements there last year, I knew I seriously had to put this post up right away.
I recently did a blog post on how to regulate yourself over the weekend but how do you regulate (take yourself to your good place after a relationship gone south?)
Today I will share a little about love (:
I totally had a serious head over heels attraction to this guy, what I loved most about him was his love for art and artistic feel, his in-depth view about in life, his passion and out of the box outlook to life that in a way challenged me and most of all his love for Christ Jesus. The timing then wasn't right and there was definitely (a need and) a bit of separation which to me was a good time for both of us to centre ourselves and tie loose ends, time to do what I believe India Arie means with her song back to the middle or where praise and worship takes you when they sing going back to the heart of worship. Fast forward, we recently reconnected after a few months and in my head I still carried in high esteem the man I totally admired and for some reason the person and the person in my head where complete opposites. Yes he looked the same, yes he has this new job and stuff is happening for him but he was a shell and when I went home I thought that it was jealousy speaking because he had moved on to this relationship and didn't wait for me (my BFF told me men do not wait anymore because there are always 3 other women waiting for you to snooze but in my heart of hearts I believe people need to take time off to heal and centre themselves before moving on but well that is me, the old school minded girl still waiting for the bus since the one she is meant to be on came and went). I really wanted to meet him again just to confirm what I was feeling because my heart beat didn't go up as it used to, I didn't feel a vibe, any vibe and Lord knows I used all my drama skills to get a vibe and I knew this is definitely not jealousy. Luckily God heard me and reconnected us and I got to spend a whole chunk of time with him and his new friends and just listening to their convo, I actually thanked God that that bus left me and the best part of it all was that I had outgrown that bus.

At one of the speaking engagements in Ghana
(Photo c/o Francis Acquah - Mental Health Foundation Ghana)
To some people this is a sad ending but to me it is an amazing ending, more of a beautiful beginning. I took time off this bus trip to centre myself and I didn't rush my process (I took 3 months), I fell in love with me anew until I got to a point where I felt ready to open that space to someone else. And just the whole process of openly going out there and getting to see that he is not what I need for myself at this level and not stressing about it, that is freedom...freedom of the heart, freedom of the mind. This man who once worked my heart beat and sweat glands didn't work for me anymore, this man who in my head I was so ready to elope with if that card was on the table but he just didn't work for me. Also with all the issues with my energy shifts, this event would have spun me to massive mania or deep depression but I am here smiling that I was faithful to me and my purpose and I made amends with my past cleaning the slate for my future.
I am currently reading Reposition Yourself by TD Jakes and there is a part he talks about having a personal mission statement. A girl friend once told me that in her relationship, they have a mission statement. We hear a lot of that in companies but never apply to our daily lives. Just before the 3 months away from this admirer, I re-evaluated myself  and it was one of the things that led me to thinking we need the time out to centre. As old school as it may sound, I believe in people detaching themselves and reminding themselves the things they stand for and those they are against...what is your personal mission statement? I cannot publicly say I am promoting mental health and wellness and on the side be leading others to depression and suicide by my words and actions, you cannot walk around saying you are a Christian and do something contrary or we cannot hope to one day have a lovely stable relationship and run around destabilizing and disrespecting other people's relationships. The principle of sowing and reaping is real.

At the same speaking engagements in Ghana, this one looks like I am preaching
 (Photo c/o Francis Acquah - Mental Health Foundation Ghana)
It is very human to go astray from our mission statements and get carried by the flow of life and no one should ever feel guilty or ashamed that they strayed because it is human nature but what we should be mindful not to repeat that stray, be mindful enough to make amends when we can and when we should, be mindful enough to take as much time as we need to heal and repair, be mindful to set our own clocks and rules that suit who we are and where we are going, that will not be pressurized by the feeling that he will leave me for someone else or I need to pretend I am ok so that I can have her...I am mindful that I am an old school minded lover...I believe we have all the time in the world, I believe in patience, I actually believe in the saying, Que Sera, Sera (if it is meant to be, it will be)
When I reconnected with this guy, I checked my mission statement and as much as I had hopes that this time it would work, he just wasn't in line with where I am going, with my purpose, my ministry, the things I stand for and I thank God for that reconnection and the additional day to be with him and his new crowd. I also thank God for the mental health ministry He has put in my life and my basic purpose in life which is to inspire and challenge people to be the best they can be in life while also challenging myself to be what I expect of others.

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