Had a relapse after 306 days, still crying it out

4:20:00 PM

Had a seizure after 306 days, still crying it out
Over the past 2 weeks, I have been having a serious battle interacting with people not in my immediate circle and I have dropped out of things I had signed up for. At the back of my head I went all maybe I need rest and new perspectives then it will be alright...today I woke up with a strange headache, actually i think i felt it last night when my mind decided that i need to learn about metamorphosis and how caterpillars become butterflies (dont ask)

L E A R N S O M E T H I N G O U T O F Y O U R W A Y::: today was pretty chilled out until without a lead on, I just felt that I wanted to learn how a caterpillar moves from larva stage to butterfly and it's been the most amazing and fulfilling hour I have had all day (#myhobbiesarecoolerthanyours) so Day 52/ #100DaysofMentalHealth is about learning something significantly weird. Normally I read and dig deeper on things I have interest in so i am still digesting why this information and praying for revelation ... will definitely blog about it all soon once I get it figured out. Before then, I think you should learn how caterpillars become butterflies or share some significantly weird out of your way things that have caught your attention lately? . . . #metamorphosis #latenightstudy #ireadalot #diggingdeeper #mentalhealth #mymindmyfunk #mentalhealthblogger #wellness #wellnessblogger
A photo posted by Sitawa Wafula (@mymindmyfunk) on

After lunch, it all came tumbling down and I had a seizure. I literally spent my afternoon in tears because it has been almost 10 months, it has been 306 days to be exact (I was actually counting) I was 2 months short of getting to the 1 year mark without my neurological and mental health issues getting in the way...I already have my 2017 mapped out after a very bumpy 2016.

I am fighting so much mentally, spiritually and physically and have so many mixed emotions right now. I had already adjusted to this new lifestyle, I don't want to go back to how it was before, how it has been for the last 14 years, I don't understand why I have been feeling this way for the past 2 weeks and why I had a seizure today.

So day 53/#100DaysofMentalHealth is about reminding myself that a #relapse is part of recovery vocabulary but it doesn't necessarily have to be what I peg my recovery on, that my counting might have been reset back to 1 but my recovery journey continues now stronger than ever because I know about the bumps... here are two posts of relapse i wrote back in 2011; I am in relapse mode and When you relapse

Looking forward to hearing your relapse story?

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